BUCKS FOR BANKERS - BILLS FOR THE BRAVE

You may recall the story of Vietnam Veteran Tony Rose who fought a long battle with the Social Security, Homeland Security and Department of Immigration to re-establish his citizenship and gain his pension.

The Minnesota Veteran's Home and the State of Minnesota have seized $44K of Tony Rose's retroactive social security for payment of back rent.

The Federal Veteran's Administration has levied a substantial, indefinate, deduction on his monthly social security check for payment of unspecified medical bills they will not identify, the amounts and details for which they have not been provided to Mr. Rose.

Tony plans to leave the Minnesota Veteran's Home and move to an unspecified location.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE VETERANS AT HASTINGS, MINNESOTA

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGE OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

NOW AVAILABLE FREE FOR 2010 – UPDATED, 3RD EDITION – SMALL BUSINESS FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACTING GUIDEBOOK

Use the Box Net Feature at the below web site for your free Edition of “Small Business Federal Government Contracting” at:

http://www.smalltofeds.com/

It covers 7 major areas of the business with 38 articles and two company models on small business systems and pricing.

VETERAN TONY ROSE NOW HAS US CITIZENSHIP

After a nearly 4 year battle with the Departments of Immigration, Homeland Security and Social Security, the US Government has conceded that Mr. Anthony Aldo Rose who served in the US Navy during the Vietnam Era and worked in this country for 40 years, in fact never left the country, is an American citizen and can draw his Social Security Pension.You may recall his story as covered by the Pioneer Press and the Hastings Gazette last year. The blog on his struggles with the Feds is at:

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2007/11/help-for-us-navy-vet-without-country.html

Our thanks to Pro Bono Lawyer Stella Mednick, who we met through "Linked In", for her untiring efforts on Tony's behalf.

Below is the link to the St. Paul Pioneer Press coverage of the Citizenship Ceremony:

http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_13828521?nclick_check=1

Global Village

We found this presentation beautifully conceived, informative and inspirational.

If you agree, pass it on:

http://www.box.net/shared/rv3a0vdr6b


Rose Covered Glasses

WATER QUALITY TEST RESULTS LAKE REBECCA, HASTINGS, MINNESOTA

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGES OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

The below report was recently provided by Travis Thiel, Watershed Specialist Vermillion River Watershed Joint Powers Organization, Dakota County Water Resources Department.

Travis is responding to the test conducted on potential water pollution incidents reported at this site. We wish to thank Travis for his investigative and coordinative efforts over the last year on this matter.

Let us hope the wild life and fish pictured here will continue at the lake in health and abundance.

REPORT

"I have received all of the lab results on the sample you were concerned about. I didn’t include the raw data as I felt it would be better understood by everyone involved if I touched on the results versus sending raw lab results out that likely wouldn’t make much sense to most people without guidance and research.

Here’s what I’ve found: Upon my initial review, nitrogen values looked a bit higher than normal with the exception of Ammonia. These nitrate values are higher than what I’ve personally seen in other urban settings from storm water pipes I’ve monitored in the past. After consulting Travis Bistodeau, Water Resource Specialist at the Dakota SWCD, who has extensive experience with monitoring around the County, he indicated that the levels detected were similar to levels he has detected while sampling the Vermillion River near the Falls and other locations upstream in the watershed. This level of nitrate detected was not in exceedance of the drinking water standard. I would expect nitrogen values to be slightly higher as well considering the time of year and use of nitrogen on lawns and fields. The ammonia value detected appeared to be relatively normal. My guess is any elevated nitrogen levels are a reflection of warm season nitrogen application and current background nitrogen levels found in this area of the County.
Metals values detected were less than any toxicity levels stated in the MN ch. 7050 water quality standards.

MBAS (Methylene Blue Activated Substances) is a test for surfactants that the lab ran and helped me interpret the results since I’m not familiar with it. I was hoping this test would address any foaming that was present in the water. The text below indicates the lab’s opinion on what was detected. It appears that a situation like someone washing a car or cars may have contributed to this surfactant level as it does not appear to be a wastewater issue.

From Standard Methods:

"At current detergent and water usage levels the surfactant content of raw domestic wastewater is in the range of about 1 to 20 mg/L. Most domestic wastewater surfactants are dissolved in equilibrium with proportional amounts absorbed on particulates. Primary sludge concentrations range from 1 to 20 mg absorbed anionic surfactant per gram dry weight. In environmental waters the surfactant concentration generally is below 0.1 mg/L except in the vicinity of an outfall or other point source of entry."

Based upon this and the 0.1mg/L in waters, the 0.527 mg/L would seem to indicate a slightly elevated surfactant level. Plus, remember that the sample was already about a week+ old (hold time 48 hours) before it was analyzed.

I hope that provides some clarity about this potential discharge concern. We greatly appreciate having some "eyes and ears" within the watershed to help us potentially locate and fix problems that might exist on the upland areas that drains to our water resources. Please let us know if we can further assist you with this matter and also let us know if other potential concerns arise.

Regards,

Travis Thiel
Watershed Specialist
Vermillion River Watershed Joint Powers Organization
Dakota County Water Resources Department
14955 Galaxie Avenue, Apple Valley, MN 55124
Phone: 952-891-7546 Fax: 952-891-7588
travis.thiel@co.dakota.mn.us
http://www.co.dakota.mn.us"

SAIC Case Sheds Needed Light on World of Government Contracting

By Steven Pearlstein

Friday, July 10, 2009
Washington Post

Science Applications International Corp. is not only one of the federal government's largest contractors -- with more 17,000 Washington area employees, it is the region's fourth-largest private employer. So it is of more than passing interest that after a lengthy investigation, the Justice Department has now accused company executives of conspiring with corrupt Navy officials to rig a 2004 computer contract potentially worth billions of dollars.

Last week the Justice Department asked a federal judge in Jackson, Miss., to order the company to pay damages that could top $350 million -- a lot of money for a company that earned $450 million last year. A judgment might also lead the government to temporarily suspend SAIC from competing for new contracts.

See Above link to read more.

New Pollution Spill at Lake Rebecca, Hastings, Minnesota

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGES OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

SPRING COMES TO HASTINGS, MINNESOTA

SCENES FROM THE VERMLLION AND MISSISSIPPI RIVER VALLEYS - MAY 2009

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGE OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

Pollution on the Vermillion River at Hastings

PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGES OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

The Minneapolis Star Tribune and Hasting Gazette recently reported on my pollution findings at the 18th Street Bridge in Hastings:

http://www.startribune.com/local/south/42647742.html?elr=KArksUUUU

http://www.hastingsstargazette.com/articles/index.cfm?id=19832&section=News

This "Old Guy" as a reader commented is attaching the actual photos of the event.

Judge for yourselves.

Ken Larson

larsoke3@hotmail.com

THE ONE YEAR US GOVERNMENT BUDGET CYCLE MUST GO

Having been inside the funding process in the government contracting industry (both large and small business) for over 40 years through many administrations and much frustration, Ken Larson can discuss with some credibility a major weakness in the huge machine we call the federal government, the one year budget cycle.

Here is his take on the matter, which recently received a “Best Answer” Rating on the “Linked In” web site:

http://www.linkedin.com/answers/government-non-profit/government-policy/GOV_GPO/446421-16580597?browseIdx=3&sik=1238606343092&goback=%2Eama

“About mid-summer every agency begins to get paranoid about whether or not they have spent all their money, worried about having to return some and be cut back the next year. They flood the market with sources sought notifications and open solicitations to get the money committed. Many of these projects are meaningless.

Then during the last fiscal month (September) proposals are stacked up all over the place and everything is bottle-necked. If you are a small business trying to get the paperwork processed and be under contract before the new fiscal year starts you are facing a major challenge.

Many companies go out on risk to continue multi-year procurements with no guarantee on paper that they will get the funding from the government in the new year due to the backlog. In October the flood gates open and everything is “Plussed-Up”. This process must be changed as we scale down the size of the federal machine.

Let’s face it. We are broke and we are operating on credit here. The stimulus is just that - our children's future credit bills. We should be able to plan five years out and fund accordingly. Most well managed organizations do and with the size of this machine right now I agree with the others who have commented here that it is almost impossible.

We are about to pump "Stimulus" money (really credit with huge coat tails) in the billions into this already preposterous machine and we expect reasonable management? They do not have the infrastructure, the capability or the inclination to manage it. They will outsource the job to companies who can perform the process, establish the IT and lend a hand.

I have hundreds of SCORE clients right now who are getting in line to get qualified to become federal government service contractors in these fields. I don't blame them. They will get the first money injection to keep the GAO happy and prop up the agency heads that will be overwhelmed.

We will be forced to give up the annual budget cycle. It has become a ludicrous exercise we can no longer afford and our government is choking on it.”

Local Pictures of Hastings, Minnesota Veteran's Home Area 1 March 2009

YET ANOTHER GOVERNMENT/INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

Whether or not the average US Citizen knows it, the United States is creating the second-largest government/industrial complex in our nation's history. It is envisioned as a cocktail of bailouts to the financial industry, the automotive industry and others who show up with their hands out and their lobbyists in tow. It is also comprised of state governors who are poised to invent yet another form of pork with federal representatives and senators at their sides while raising local taxes for the citizen back home. This speculative panacea cannot survive.

HISTORY

The longest running and largest consortium of this type is the US Military Industrial Complex (MIC), funded each year at an amount many times the Wall Street and automotive bailouts combined. It is the elephant in the room in the burgeoning financial crisis, carrying the weight of wars, weapons systems and a pentagon/corporate financial relationship based on cost plus and time and material contracts since World War II:

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2008/09/two-collapsing-towers-wall-street-and.html


IMPORTS AND EXPORTS

We are importing goods and services and borrowing money from the Chinese, the European Union, Japan, Korea, India and other developing countries at a rate unmatched in our history. Loan proceeds are being used to fight wars and bail out our bankers, carmakers and state governors.

Our largest export today is our public debt and our credit rating is slipping.

THE ILLUSION

What shall the prospective, second-largest government/industrial complex be called, “The Department of Wishful Thinking”? It is being financed with money borrowed from entities future generations will owe as the US kicks the financing can down the road like it has for the last 60 years.

No doubt Washington will attempt to regulate the outlay, put in auditors and control mechanisms like the Federal Acquisition Regulation and Cost Accounting Standards that evolved over the years on a reactive basis dealing with the white elephant scandals in the Military Industrial Complex. But somehow those controls have never been able to stop the mammoth waste, fraud and abuse that occur in the MIC.

Big money attracts greedy people, not only in the MIC but also on Wall Street and in the corporate boardroom. It also buys influence and crooks in government.

FACTS

The natural order of economics is still out there. Washington's money-and-power-influenced, artificial reality cannot survive what historically has been the rise and fall of booms and busts in the last 100 years. Economics is now on steroids through high technology, the Internet, mass communications and frauds that cross national borders like cobwebs.

The MIC will be scaled down by collapse. The Russian MIC led to that country's financial demise. It is now apparent that we did not outspend the Russians at weaponry and interventions. We simply had a better credit rating that is now maxed out

The other government agencies will be re-scaled and downsized as well but not by any specific action taken by the pending or future federal establishment. The over 50 entities that make up the federal government, together with their corporate outsource services, will be shrunk dramatically because the US is broke. The feds will fight to preserve the artificial reality, but US financing and credibility on the world stage are drying up and the creditors are suffering.

No new administration can change the above facts by riding on the taxpayer's back with "Social Improvement", " Public Works" and "Creating Democracies in Other Countries" mantras. Such policies in the past have led to foreign interventions, thousands of young soldier’s deaths, bureaucratic growth in Washington and bloated corporations performing low quality service contacts.

Annual budget deficits and the national debt are at intolerable levels.

ECONOMIC REALITIES

The US will come home from military adventures abroad because it will no longer have the money to run them and it will cease bailing out failing commercial establishments because there will be no funding for that.

The US will re-align priorities at the state and the national level much like all the little "Joe the Plumbers" throughout the country, who are toting skinny 401K's without jobs. They represent the present and future tax base upon which this country will run. America will not spend its way out of this dilemma because there will be no cash or credit left to spend.

The US will demonstrate financial prudence out of necessity, align spending with available revenue, downsize the federal government and its corporate cadre, cultivate technology and the small business base and take care of its most important constituent here at home - the average tax payer.

The US will understand the above are not political objectives but economic realities that are here and now. World economics will not allow a new, financial, government/industrial complex to emulate or replace the MIC.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE VETERANS IN HASTINGS MINNESOTA

MORE PHOTO AND POETRY BY KEN LARSON :

http://entertainment.webshots.com/album/560695345WHqpBD


http://outdoors.webshots.com/album/560300957qoYZfr

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGE OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

UPDATES - ON STATUS OF NAVY VETERAN WITHOUT A COUNTRY - GOVERNMENT CONTRACT WASTE, FRAUD AND ABUSE

TONY ROSE GETTING PRESS AND GOVERNMENT COVERAGE ON HIS PENSION STATUS

The Pioneer Press has run a story on Tony Rose, the Navy Veteran who has not been able to collect his social security pension for 2 years while being snared in a malfunctioning Homeland Security database:

http://www.twincities.com/ci_11190464?nclick_check=1


The Office of Norm Coleman and the St. Paul Pioneer Press have also interviewed Mr. Rose in continuing efforts to focus attention to his problem.

Mr. Rose's case has not been re-opened by the St. Paul Office of the Social Security Administration and his lawyer is preparing affidavits in pursuit of hearings on the matter.

USA TODAY COVERAGE OF GOVERNMENT CONTRACTOR WASTE FRAUD AND ABUSE.

The following two stories detail the horrendous waste of taxpayer money in connection with federal contracts containing funds earmarked for support of the Iraq war.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2008-11-17-iraqcontracts_N.htm

http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2008-11-17-iraq-contract-inside_n.htm

The data points to the escalating demise of the Military Industrial Complex as covered in the following postings:

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2008/09/two-collapsing-towers-wall-street-and.html


http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2008/11/as-recently-announced-by-project-on.html

NAVY VETERAN HAS WAITED 2 YEARS FOR SOCIAL SECURITY

BAKER AND ANIMAL CARE SPECIALIST
TONY ROSE,
HONORABLY DISCHARGED AS A US CITIZEN FROM THE MILITARY,
PAID INTO SOCIAL SECURITY WORKING IN THE U.S. FOR 30 YEARS AND NOW CANNOT COLLECT HIS PENSION


As Veteran's Day approaches, 67 Year Old Tony Rose and his lawyer are wondering what additional rocks they have to look under to find his lawful Social Security Pension.

He was born in England.  His family moved to New York when he was a child.  His father was a dual Canadian and US Citizens. After Tony's Navy discharge he worked in the US for over 3 decades, paying state and federal taxes and Social Security.

In 2006 when Tony applied for his pension he was informed that the US Department of Homeland Security had revoked his US citizenship and did not recognize his Canadian citizenship. He has attempted to resolve this matter for over 2 years and has been without a pension during that period.The Social Security Administration will not begin his pension payments until his citizenship issue is resolved. He has been trying to work this matter through a lawyer, the VA, his local representatives in government (congressional level) and directly through the Social Security Office.

No one seems to know what to do, who should take action and who has responsibility. Letters directly to the presidential campaign received no response. The Inspector General of the US has been notified and Tony has camped out in his local Congressional Representative's Office on numerous occasions and been turned away.

The veteran has lived in the United States since 1946 having moved from Windsor, Ontario, Canada to Detroit Michigan with his family that year at the age of 5 years old. He attained dual citizenship in Canada and the United States and received a valid US Social Security Number. Tony served in the Armed Forces of the US honorably and has paid state and federal taxes to include social security from 1963 to the present in the United States of America. He is still paying those taxes at his current part time jobs.

At this writing, Mr. Rose has been given no indication by the US Government that his case is being examined by anyone who can take a responsible course of action, schedule a hearing or otherwise determine the bottom line in this matter. His lawyer, who is working pro bono, is totally frustrated and each of the agencies involved has stated the other should be responsible to do something.

Tony lives at the Hastings Minnesota State Veteran's Home and works locally at the 2nd Street Coffee Shop and the Animal Ark.

Happy Veteran's Day, Tony - Such as it is.

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BECOMING MORE TRANPARANT ON WASTE, FRAUD AND ABUSE CASES

As recently announced by the Project on Government Oversight (POGO) Congress and President Bush have mandated a federally maintained database on waste, fraud and abuse cases by government contractors. The purpose of the record is to inform government contracting officers, source selection boards and buyers regarding details on past performance of a negative nature in this area that can weigh in future contract awards.

http://www.pogo.org/p/contracts/ca-081015-fcmd.html

Since the government database will not be visible to the public, POGO continues to publish this information from public records and has for many years as a non-profit organization. POGO has also pressed the government to assume responsibility for the information. That effort has now succeeded.

We applaud POGO's success.

http://www.pogo.org/p/x/aboutus.html

POGO has published its most recent records at its web site:

http://contractormisconduct.org/

The top 100 government contractor track records are shown as well as others. As POGO states in the analysis at its site, it should be noted that the most serious offenders continue to receive contracts from the very agencies that have prosecuted them for fraudulent activities.

POGO also points out that many of the top 100 contractors have no apparent instances of a negative nature or very few. It is possible to be a major player in the industry without resorting to waste, fraud and abuse.

The above table is POGO's latest data from public records on the top 100 federal government contractors. If you are interested in the details of these cases, go to the POGO site and click on the name of the company. A convenient summation of the government cases against the firm will appear.

TWO COLLAPSING TOWERS - WALL STREET AND THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

While we observe Wall Street go through an implosion and our lawmakers mortgage the future of America with the associated bailout, let us keep an eye on another adjacent and related tower with a weak foundation, teetering dangerously in the wind. The Military Industrial Complex (MIC) is also subject to bad decision-making by misinformed and manipulated government officials.

HISTORY

Congress has just funded the MIC at only slightly less than the 700B now necessary to bail out the US Financial catastrophe. The MIC is monumentally dangerous and has led our country into a continuing series of costly, fraudulent wars since Korea. Eisenhower forecasted the danger in his departing speech:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y06NSBBRtY

The most recent MIC adventure is being fought in the memory of 3,000 dead civilians attacked by a terrorist the US created by not leaving the Middle East after the first Gulf War. That excursion has killed thousands of our finest youth and maimed the lives of countless others. The average American will pay for this ruin in decades to come through taxes supporting hospital care, social services and veteran's homes.

HOW DO I KNOW?

I am a 2 tour Vietnam Veteran who recently retired after 36 misguided years working in the defense industrial complex on many of the weapons systems being used by our forces as we speak. Given a clearly defined mission and the best armaments and systems in the world, I believed that another Vietnam could be avoided for the American Soldier.

I was wrong.

I live in a Veteran's home, having recently undergone treatment through the VA for PTSD and Depression, long overdue some 40 years after the Tet Offensive that cap stoned my military 2nd tour in Southeast Asia with a lifetime of illness:

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2006/11/odyssey-of-armaments.html

Politicians make no difference. I saw this on a daily basis from inside the MIC.

The chart at this posting illustrates the historical % of our national debt to our GDP. That % is on a precipitous rise with the current US warfare mentality and imminent Wall Street bailout:

PLEASE CLICK ON IMAGES OR DOWNLOAD TO ENLARGE

Other countries will not tolerate our on-going presence, decreasing value on world market and shortsighted vision, based exclusively on stockholder profits. The Wall Street financial tower has fallen. The MIC will be next.

ABOUT THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

It is corrupt and driven by corporate influence:

http://www.playboy.com/magazine/features/lockheed/index.html

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/03/spyagency200703

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/11/halliburton200711

It is broken and riddled with incompetence:

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2008/04/us-federal-government-procurement.html

http://rosecoveredglasses.blogspot.com/2007/01/what-american-public-must-know-about.html

THE COLLAPSE

The MIC, like Wall Street, will go bust and then be re-scaled, fixed and re-designed to run efficiently and prudently, just like any other big machine that runs poorly or becomes obsolete or dangerous. The situation will right itself through yet another trauma.

A government ENRON is on the horizon, with an associated house cleaning. The next president will come and go along with his appointees and politicos. They will try to fix the financial mess and become pawns of corporate America in widening our military influence attempting to mend corporate bank accounts. But the MIC tower will implode as well - the next big event in government you will watch is the collapse of that establishment.

HOPE

Non-profit visionaries and small business know the course that must be taken and they are taking it:

http://techinsider.nextgov.com/2008/04/einstein.php

These "Action People" are not in our government. They are more practical than that. They are the communicators, the true venture capitalists setting up worldwide non-profit foundations (Gates and Buffet for example). They are like the Bill Moyers, perpetually exposing waste fraud and abuse and then going one step further to fix it from the inside. They are the young inspirational members of the small business base in this country that will be tasked with picking up the pieces and re-inventing the future so our government can follow along.

As a volunteer counselor, handling 30 cases a week through SCORE I see every form of unique small business inventiveness imaginable - efficiently created, using technology to the max and not seeking financing to the hilt - only the opportunity to succeed:

http://www.smalltofeds.blogspot.com/

http://www.score.org/


The US GDP is still the largest in the world.

Our high technology cannot be matched.

We have enough weapons systems and science to beat all our competitors and solve our problems.

We need to come home.

CONTINUED GOVERNMENT EMPHASIS ON SERVICE-DISABLED, VETERAN-OWNED BUSINESSES

Since 2004 after a presidential mandate to contract 3% of all federal contracting dollars to service-disabled veteran-owned businesses, federal agencies have struggled to meet that goal.
Now renewed emphasis has been placed on the matter by the GSA and the Veteran's Entrepreneurship Task force (VET-Force) with the signing of an agreement on Tuesday,19 August 2008. Under the memorandum of agreement, VET-Force will use its network of veterans to expand training and information on federal opportunities for these firms.

VET-Force is composed of more than 200 organizations and affiliates -- many small businesses -- representing thousands of veterans. It was organized in 1999 to lobby for the Veterans' Entrepreneurship and Small Business Development Act, which became law, and provide assistance to veterans who are starting businesses.

"GSA welcomes the opportunity to work with the VET-Force and other organizations committed to helping veterans and service-disabled veterans who are entrepreneurs," said GSA acting Administrator David Bibb. "This is a point of honor, but it is also a point of common sense. When we expand economic opportunities for veterans, we're drawing on men and women who know teamwork, discipline, cooperation and mission accomplishment."

In fiscal 2007, GSA spent 2.2 percent of its procurement dollars on businesses owned by service-disabled veterans. In announcing the agreement, officials said preliminary data for the third quarter of fiscal 2008 shows GSA has increased that figure to 3.2 percent, surpassing the statutory goal.

The agreement was part of GSA's 21 Gun Salute initiative, led by the agency's chief of staff, John Phelps. GSA works with other agencies, veterans and industry to meet the 3 percent spending target.

GSA also drew up the first government-wide acquisition contract set-aside exclusively for small businesses owned by service-disabled veterans.

The Veterans Technology Services GWAC, through which agencies can procure systems operations and maintenance and engineering services, was the first contract vehicle reserved for service-disabled veterans. The contract was awarded in 2006 to 44 businesses and has a $5 billion ceiling.

Veteran's can obtain assistance in the details of entering federal government contracting at:

http://smalltofeds.blogspot.com/2006/12/registering-your-small-business-for.html

For additional information on the disabled veteran's contracting initiatives please see the following links:

http://www.nextgov.com/nextgov/ng_20080820_3219.php?zone=ngtoday

http://www.nextgov.com/nextgov/ng_20080821_5928.php?zone=ngtoday

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/10/20041021-5.html

The Pentagon's New "Spokesdrone"

Pentagon's New "Spokesdrone"

http://techinsider.nextgov.com/2008/08/pentagon_unveils_new_unmanned.php

As Reported by "The Onion"

Satire Now - Reality Later?‏